rk@soda.berkeley.edu
			      HARD |< O R
			     A novella by Robert Kwong


			This Chapter finished Dec 21,1995
				ver 1.21

Please read Disclaimer on 
http://www-ucsee.eecs.berkeley.edu/~rk/HardKor.html 1st
Email comments or flames to rk@soda.berkeley.edu
Based on characters by Izumi Matsumoto

As you can see, this is fanfiction harkening back to the old Kimagure
Orange Road series. The turn of events and timeline depicted here occur
right after Shin Kor I, but before Shin Kor II. This is the graphic
reaccount of the adult lives of Madoka, Hikaru, and Kyosuke. Like the
Shin KOR novels, these stories contain adult themes, situations, and
language.Thus parental guidance is advised. Thus read with your own
discretion! 


Notes:  Phrases in < > are characters thinking to themselves.
	[] indicates scene changes

Legend:
H=Hikaru
M=Madoka
R=Ryusei
K=Kasuga


BOOK A:

Chapter 6: Rememberance

I started to cry.  Failure never felt so devastating as the shock of the
news sunk in.  I couldn't revert back to my hard-shelled self, concealing
the pain inside like I always have.  I felt like a baby; they probably
felt I regressed back to my immature self.  After all I went through to
build my self-esteem and persona. All those notions dispelled with one
fell swoop. I certainly wasn't handling the situation well at all. But I
didn't care.  All I wanted was the tears to flow freely and a shoulder to
console me, and Madoka's shoulder was as good as any. 

M: You're be alright, Hikaru-chan. (patting her on the back) Good, just
let all your emotions out. I don't blame you for reacting like this. I
would have done the same thing. Don't worry now; there are plenty of
opportunities waiting for you to go out and snatch. It's their loss, not
yours. 

H: (sob-talking) But I had all my hopes pinned on this audition. It was
make or break situation, -- a test to see if three years of hard work
made a difference or not. But it didn't,... 'cuz I failed,... TWICE! I
must not have any talent at all! Why did I even bother trying! <Even
heavier sobbing>

M: Now Hikaru. You have calm down and get a hold of yourself. Some things
work out, others don't. But you still have to keep on trying. You were
never one to let things get you down for long. Cheer up. Where's that old
Hikaru spit-fire, give 'em hell spirit? 

H: I left all of that back in New York. Which is where I'll be going next,
where I'll be another sad, dejected, young nobody along the New York dance
scene.

M: Come on Hikaru. You shouldn't beat yourself up like that. Here. Take this
handkerchief.

(Hikaru blows her nose)

(The black colored envelope lies dormant on the lobby desk. Amid this
poignant scene, Kyosuke picks it up and opens it to scan its contents.)

(starts to read letter in a soft-pitch monotone voice)

	To the party whom it may concern:

	Dear Madam:

		This letter contains the results of your dance audition for
	the rather significant part of second-lead dancer in the premiere of
	the play "EASTSIDE FELINES" which will make its debut in the fall.
		We, here at the studios, would like to thank you for the time
	and effort you have spent in preparing for the audition of this
	prestigious part. Many have spent years in training to get to this
	point. Likewise, your talent shows. We, the panel, have evaluated your
	performance and have come to these following conclusions:

	(1) Your technique is unrefined
	(2) Your aim and skill is undirected
	(3) Your stops and starts needs work.

	Based on these observations, we have come to the following conclusion:
	(slight pause from Kyosuke; starts up again with a cresendoing pace)
	We wish to extend to you an six-month commitment offer up to the end
	of this year for your participation in the play.

M: (face amazed and turns to Hikaru) You got the part!

H: (looks up in surprise) I did? No... it can't be.  Sempai must be playing a
cruel joke on me.

K: No I'm not! I wouldn't do such a thing! Here, you read it for yourself if
you don't believe me.

(Both Madoka and Hikaru scan through the letter and mumble the last few
phrases together)

	The terms of the agreement and other guidelines are outlined in the
	attached contract offer sheet. You will be allowed three days to make
	your decision. We look forward to hearing from you.

						Regards,

						The AGENCY


M: He's right Hikaru! Banzai! (Hugs Hikaru, still in shock)

H: (still shocked) But I don't understand at all,... why was I still chosen
after all they wrote? There must be some reason behind this...

K: You worry about particulars too much. These people were probably voicing
some constructive criticism. The important thing is that you got it! You
should be estatic!

H: I'm sorry if I don't appear too excited. But I'm still numb from the shock
of it all,... how my fortunes turned so fast in a span of minutes. It's too
much emotionally for a person to take.

M: Poor Hikaru-chan,... you must have had yourself one tumultuous
morning. Let's go calm your nerves by treating you to lunch, on us! I
know this quaint little resturant nearby that Hayakawa referred me to
downtown. It's not too crowded and the atmosphere and food is great! 

K: That sounds like a good idea Madoka.  C'mon Hikaru, it'll will be great,
... just the 3 of us to celebrate your good fortune.

Before I knew it, I was swept up by Madoka and Kasuga and led away to my
celebratory lunch as we left the studio building in a rush.  I had hoped
to talk to Ryusei-san afterwards to have his explain this curious offer
letter. I wasn't even sure if I was going to accept the offer or not. It
seemed that he gave me the part because he pitied me, just like Hayakawa,
and I was not one to take handouts.  But I guess all that would have to
wait until everything was sorted out. 

[We see Ryu-sei in his office, alone at this desk writing something]

Significant Journal Entry #34
	These past week have been one of the strangest days in my life
since my inception on this earth. First, I abruptly decide to move my
base of headquarters to Tokyo, on counsel from #1. Then I embark on this
whirlwind trip to New York and back, only to return to more chaos back
home. This is the fast paced lifestyle of Tokyo that Nagasi warned me
about. Perhaps these type of days are normal in a big city of Tokyo,
unlike the simple atmosphere of Hokkaido which I am accostomed to.
	To begin with, I encounter this beautiful, mysterious, sleeping
damsel right inside my limo, due to the hijinks of my blundering
underlings. I found out her name was Hikaru Hiyama. What a beautiful,
smooth sounding name. She has a certain dignified style and air about her
that certainly separates her from the previous women I've know before.
She is definitely a change from my regular, mundane routine.
	The strange part of this affair is how each of our needs were
satisfied with this fateful encounter. I struck out in New York, trying
to scope out the area for some special talent for this brand-new play of
mine. She was a struggling dancer, fresh out of New York herself, looking
for a chance. It feels eerie how the pieces of this puzzle fell into
place.
	But things almost blew up today. My prized prospect was late,
again due to the fault of my careless lackeys. They "stooges" came by
later to explain the whole thing -- how they were stuck in traffic and
everything, but I didn't buy their story one bit; So as punishment, I
sent them on a scavenger all over the city to gather a list of obscure
items.  Should be fun for them!
	Anyhow, I had a tricky time heading off the two judges, whose
opinions didn't matter in the final equation.  And then Miss Hiyama-san
displayed an adequate, but curious performance.  It seemed familiar in a
way, especially when she almost fell at the end, but managed to regain
her balance. Thank god she didn't fall! I would have been forced to cast
a negative vote against her; a decision I would be reluctant to carry
out.
	Next, I had this bizarre voting session afterwards.  It was a 2-2
vote and Nagasi, the deciding vote, called me into my office.  It felt
like she was interrogating me.  She first ask what I felt about Hikaru;
whether I had any intimate feelings for her or not.  I had to explain to
her that we just met yesterday, and that this was strictly a business
relationship.  She next asked how much it would mean to me if Miss
Hiyama-san received the part.  Again, I carefully explained to her
diplomatically that given the dire situation and deadlines facing us for
this brand-new startup play, it would behoove us to hire her, if she
thought she had the talent.  I did admit to her that I thought Miss
Hiyama-san was still rough at the edges, but nothing that couldn't be
rectified through professional guidance like hers.  Additionally, I added
that she was still genuinely young, eager, fresh, and enthusiastic. 
Plus, since she was casted with the second tier of characters, she
wouldn't feel the role was beneath her and give us any trouble, unlike
the previous snobby, stuck up, characters I had to deal with during these
months of auditions. It was for a six month tour anyway, and one person
can't make or break a play; The new play had to stand, on its own merits.
Nagasi seemed to be swayed by my forceful arguments. Thank god I didn't
reveal the other reason why I wanted to keep Hikaru-san on. Hopefully,
she can provide me with insight on my past, but all in good time. I don't
want to burden her with my problems, especially when she has so much work
ahead of her. Of course, I don't want to scare the poor girl off with my
crazy ramblings.  All that mattered was that Nagasi casted the deciding
vote in favor of Miss Hiyama for the final remaining part, and that was
fine with me.
	I was in a jovial  mood afterwards, so I decided to have some fun. I
wrote up a wickedly crafted offer letter. I then approached Hayakawa
afterwards and told him to convey to Miss Hiyama the bad news and to give her
this letter. I sneaked in a chuckle as I saw the morbid look forming on his
face.
	I like to finish off this journal on a bright note: my luck in
finding a growing list of prospects and contacts, all because of Miss
Hiyama. She must be my lucky charm somehow, which is nothing to sneer at.
Last night, I thought I was attending another boring party, but it turned
out rather pleasant.  I never thought I would get a chance to meet the
famous photographer Takashi Kyosuke. I also got a glimpse of some of
Hikaru-san's friends. The first two, a Mr Hatta and Mr Komatsu, I believe
seemed too juvenile for my tastes. I don't expect much from them. Kasuga
Kyosuke, the son of the famous photographer, doesn't seem as sharp as his
father, having to be rescued by the UN by getting himself in trouble in
the Balkans. Too reckless.  When I met him in person, there was something
that didn't feel right.  I felt like punching him for some reason.
Probably was my former enemy in a previous life, perhaps.
	Ayukawa Madoka, is as dazzling and gorgeous as Hayakawa makes her out
to be. She is one young, promising songwriter whom I wish to snag as part of
my cliente. Hopefully, I can win her over to my side and sign her up for her
own record.  But better to start out slow with her to win her confidence. She
seems to be really chummy with Miss Hiyama-san also, so that would work to my
advantage.
	One interesting note is the tension I felt between these three
curious individuals. Miss Hiyama made up this story about being involved
with me to cover up something.  I suspect that there was a love triangle
between them at one time, since Mr Kyosuke was once her boyfriend, but
now he's with Miss Ayukawa-san.  I wouldn't want to get mixed up their
weird "soap-box" affair of theirs.  Hopefully, it's all resolved by now. 

End of Journal.
					R.H.
					May, 94.

[At the resturant...]

M: So Hikaru,... how does it feel to be a big star?

H: I'm not really a star yet.  It's really a minor part.  But high enough
to get me started and noticed. 

K: Don't be  modest Hikaru! If this play becomes a smashing success, it could
catapult you to new heights.

H: I guess so.  But I haven't really decided whether  I should take the part
or not.

M: You can't be serious, right? After all you went through to try to
procure the part... why, I would jump at a chance to return back to my
home-town where all my friends are. 

H: I'm still iffy about the proposition.  There are still some issues I still
need to resolve with Ryusei-san.

K: Well, no use worrying about it now.  Today is your day, and we're going to
celebrate it in grand style.  (looks at her plate) You hardly touched your
plate.  What's wrong? Food not good?

H: No.,,, it's not that.  The food is quite tasty,.. I'm just not that hungry.

M: Come on Hikaru,... you need to replenish your energy.  You also seem
to look skinnier than before.  Have you been eating well in NY? I hope
you're not starving yourself. 

H: No, ...really,... I'm really not that hungry. But thanks for the concern
though.

[Into the resturant walks in Mitsuru and Shiori who happens to see them]

Hayakawa: How do you do? Funny how we should run into each other like
this.  You seem to be good spirits given the circumstances.  So what
brings you here? 

M: We're just treating Hikaru here to her victory lunch for getting the part.
That was pretty sneaky of you, putting on that act, pretending that she got
rejected.

K: Yes, you had me going there.

Hayakawa: I'm not sure what you two are talking about.  I specifically
remember Ryusei telling me to convey the bad news to her. 

K: You must have had your signals mixed up.  The letter  you gave us clearly
states that she got the part.

Hayakawa: Hmm, I will have to look into this.  I believe I might have
been a victim of a practical joke.  Funny.  Mr Haroken doesn't seem like
the comedic type. 

H: Me neither.  But I guess there's a first time for everything.  First, let
me extend my congratulations on your engagement. I wish you continued
happiness and joy.

Hayakawa: Why thanks you! We just came by to celebrate ourselves.  Today
is the end of Shiori's first week working at the station, and I thought
it would be nice to celebrate the occasion.  We hardly had time to see
each other, so today seemed like the ideal time to have lunch together. 

Shiori: Please to meet you all again.

M: That's a nice gesture on your part.

Hayakawa: I know. It took some doing, but we managed to squeeze it into our
tight schedules.  I see you took my advice about this place...

M: Only just to test whether your taste in picking resturants have
regressed or not.  Don't worry.  This place passes my litmus test.  Your
reputation is still intact. 

Hayakawa: I'm glad to hear that.  Sorry to interrupt your lunch, but we
have a lunch date to attend to. 

Shiori: (whispers in Hayakawa's ear)

Hayakawa: Oh yes, one more this.  This concerns you, Kyosuke-san.  I was
wondering if you had any major plans for this summer., like going off on
another photography expedition.

K: Nahhh,... I don't think so. I have had enough to last me a lifetime. I
think I'll take it easy for the next few months. Like spend more time with
Madoka. Why do you ask?

Hayakawa: I'll let Shiori explain for herself.

Shiori: The reason for the inquiry is that my station manager is looking for
a part-time, on-call cameraman to cover news stories when it gets busy. I
thought that given your line of work, you might be interested . Although
camera work is not as glamourous as photography, of course.

K: Thanks for the offer.  But I thought you worked at a radio station.

Shiori: Who told you that? 

Hayakawa: I actually told them.

Shiori: No, silly. You weren't paying attention, were you? I said I was
working at a superstation. They have the works: telecommunications, print
media, and publishing.  What that translates to is in addition to a radio
station, they operate a newspaper and offer the broadcast news. I'm
dabbling in each of the aforementioned areas. I haven't really decided yet
which field interests me the most. 

Hayakawa: Whoops! Sorry for the mixup!

Shiori: Well, back to what I was saying, my station manager would be very
interested in bringing in a person like you. Especially with your exploits
abroad.  It would be a great boon to the station and to you.  So what do you
say?

K: I'm sorry, but I really don't think I would be interested in that sort of
thing. 

Shiori: Well, in case you do change your mind, here's my station manager's
business card.  Tell her I directed you to her. Again, sorry for the
intrusion.

M: No, no,... it was no trouble at all. It's nice to be finally getting a
chance to meet you in person.  He constantly talks about you. Hayakawa is
one lucky guy to have you.  Best wishes for the two of you.

Hayakawa: (surprised)Thanks Madoka-san. Good-bye you all!

--------- After lunch, we spent the rest of the day together in each
other's company, just the three of us; having the type of fun we all
enjoyed. There was no tension, no anxiety. No,... back then , we were
happy and carefree, not bounded by the world's troubles.  It seemed like
reliving the last days of adolescence. Carefree and capricious, those
were the good old days. Of course, being adults now, there are more
restrictions placed on us, more concerns to worry about, and added
responsibilities. 
	But today was different; we left all the burdens of the adult
world behind us. To resume our roles as the ambassadors of capriciousness
and return back to our childhood mirth. And today was the only day to
relive it.
	Our journey back began with a visit to a myriad of places.  First
stop was at the ice cream shop to get dessert. I just love rocky road ice
cream. Our next stop was at a late matinee movie whose title name escapes
me at the moment. It was sci-fi in nature involving cops and big robots. 
Afterwards, we went off to the zoo to see all the pretty animals.  From
the zoo, we took a nice, long, leisurely stroll across the park.  Of
course, I couldn't resist the shopping urge, so our next stop was the
malls.  I couldn't resist buying all the cute stuffed animals and toys I
saw.  I remember the time I dumped off all my stuffed animals, including
my favorite teddy bear on Yuusaku (//refer back to the manga), because I
thought I was too old for them.  Reflecting back, I realized how silly I
was and regretted my decision. I uncerimoniously discarded a part of me,
my childhood years, which could never be returned to me.  The only reason
I acted this irrationally was because I wanted to solidify my then
relationship with Kyosuke back in high school; to send it to the next
level.  To appear more grown-up and worthy as a companion to him.
	But oh how love can be a creul emotion, sending its victims into
a mindless trance, and causing us to act carelessly at the heat of the
moment. Oh, how many battles and wars have been fought over love; to
compete for the affections of another. Somehow though, we, the three of
us, managed to escape love's lustful clothes and just enjoy the company
and comardiary amongst ourselves.
	We made a stop off at my hotel to drop the stuff off before
having a nice, quiet, quaint dinner.  It was eerie, the three of us being
together in such a setting.  It reminded me of the time we spent, staying
up all night at the ABCB pub, chatting and playing cards, in order to
stake out a cat burglar. I did most of the talking back then, and it was
no different here. I exchanged more tales of my adventures in NY while
they filled me in on the events of their lives during these last three
years. 
	It was a nice, cordial, friendly conversation we had.  We avoided
the topic of relationships altogether, which was best for everyone involved.
As the evening wore on however, old feelings I felt for Kyosuke started to
creep into my mind.I was sitting very close to him, to his left, and could
smell the aroma of his cologne. Also, I couldn't get over how muscular and
manly he looked; more so than he was in high school. 

It took all my willpower to avoid the temptation of nuzzling up to him
with my body. Downing my fare share of liquor also helped me drown away
the forbidden feelings that was starting to surface. Madoka looked so
glittering and happy; I didn't want to jeopardize all that they have
together.
	It was getting late, so they dropped me off at my hotel. I thanked
them for a wonderful time spent today and reassured them that I would be
going back to Hokkaido for the weekend.  Afterwards, we went off on our 
own ways.
	I tried to call Ryusei-san's room to discuss the contract, but he
wasn't there. He was out late himself. 11:33pm.  I wondered where he could
be at this time.  But I wasn't his mother, so I really shouldn't be
minding his own business. 
	Having nothing to do in the meantime and not feeling too sleepy,
I decided to unwrap the items I bought. There was Mrs Teddy Bear, wife of
Mr Teddy bear whom I dumped years ago. A stereotypically Shogun doll and
Medieval Japanese Princess doll set, who symbolically represented Sempai
and Madoka. 

(We see Hikaru, lying on her stomach at the other end of the bed, playing
with those 3 items.  She is slightly disoriented and drunk)

Holding Shogun doll to teddy bear: Oh Hikaru! You've come back to me!
I've been waiting for you for so long to return! 

Teddy Bear: I'm glad to see you also. But what about you and her? (teddy
bear points to Princess doll)

Shogun doll: Oh, that's over between us.  It was never meant to be. You think
two people were just made for each other, but in the end, you end up finding
you can't stand each other. After much thought, I decided that I made a 
mistake and that you are really the one for me.  Will you forgive me?

Teddy Bear: Oh Sempai! You don't know how much it makes me feel to hear you
tell me all these things.  I'm been hoping you would have said that to me
long ago.

Shogun doll: You must have suffered terribly while you were abroad. Desolate 
and all alone...

Teddy Bear: Yes I was.  Pining for you.  But that's all in the past and it
doesn't matter anymore.  All I care now is having you.  Does she know about
us though?

Princess: (comes over) Yes I do. I've known it all along.  I'm sorry to have
come between the two of you.  You two are truly meant for each other.  It
didn't work out between the two of us, but I'm hoping your relationship
will work out for the best.  I hope you two will have a better go at it.

Teddy Bear: Thank you so much.  I'm so glad that you are still so supportive
of me at a time like this.

Princess: I'm so happy for both of you.  I have to go now.

Shogun doll: Now it time to celebrate.

Teddy Bear: Oh YES! I've been waiting for this moment for ages. Come to me
now! (stuffs Teddy bear against Shogun doll)

[We catch Kasuga and Madoka taking a walk along Lover's Lane]
M: Today was such a wonderful day!

K: Reminds me of our teenage years.

M: It was special for each and everyone of us.

K: Why didn't you tell me you had this all planned?

M: That was another surprise I had planned. 

K: You seem to be full of surprises lately.  

M: (wicked smile) Consider it part of my feminine charm.

K: Well, since I've been on the receiving end so long, it's time for me to
return the favor. (walking by a lake)

M: You have something out here? 

K: Yes,... (looking towards the lake) Let's go skinny -dipping!

M: Kasuga-kun! You must be joking! Aren't you?

K: (Takes off shirt exposing chest) No, I'm deadly serious.  Come on! It'll
be fun!

M: My, you're sure have become much bolder since your ordeal. Is this some
of the stunts to expect from the new Kyosuke?

K: I'm afraid so dear. (takes off pants and goes into the water) I've learn
that the greater the risk, the richer the reward. Come on in! The water's
just right!

M: Are you sure there's no one around.  I don't want to expose myself to 
some peeping tom.

K: No need to worry.  I scoped out the area beforehand.  There's no one
within 100 years of us.  Besides, couples have better things to do than to
spy on us.  Or is it because you afraid to show off that great body of 
yours? 

M: (getting miffed) I've got nothing to be ashamed of! (Discards dress off
in one motion) I'm coming in! Banzai!

(Jumps in, but Kyosuke uses power to suspend her and cushion the entry 
into the water and into his awaiting arms)

K: My,... have you put on a few pounds since I was last here?

M: Why you... (flicks some water in his face, causing him to release her 
into the water)

K: Hey! What was that for? I was just teasing...

M: You know better than to question a lady about her weight.  

K: Ok, ok, I get the picture.  Hmm, you didn't wear any underwear today,
did you?

M: Well, it's all your fault! I ruined the last of my silk panties yesterday!

K: (Yum!) I remember...

M: (Giggling and splashing in the water) This IS fun! I'm glad that you
talked me into it.

K: (getting water all over him) Two can play at this game!

(uses the Power to command up a large wave of water)

M: (moving to dodge it) Hey! That's no fair!

K: (smiling) Now I got you!

M: (moving towards Kyosuke) Well, the jokes on (DIVE!) YOU!

(Water wave crashes into Kyosuke instead as Madoka neatly ducks under water
to escape the seeking wave)

M: Soaked again!

K: I never win !

M: Since we established that I'm the winner, you will now have to tell me
why you won't accept Shiori's  proposition.  It seems like the perfect
opportunity for you to branch out into other media services.

K: Please don't make me explain myself.  Not out here...

K: I don't see why not.  Why it's the prefect setting to discuss it.  There 
nothing for you to hide behind and we're totally out in the open.

M: The truth is, I just wanted to be able to spend more quality time with
you.  During my weeks of captivity, I longed for the sweetness of your lips,
the soft touch of your skin,... I realized how easy it was to lose all of
that.  

M: That's flattering, but stop trying to sweet-talk me! I know what game 
you're playing.  Besides, I won't have any free time to spend with you.
I'll be busy composing new scores for the new play, provided Hikaru
accepts the part.

K: You mean I can't talk out of it?

M: No.  So you'll be just by yourself all summer watching game shows and
soap operas all day.  Not a very productive use of your time,...

K: Fine, fine! I'll give the idea some consideration.  But I'm not going
to like it!

[Scurrying around the bushes nearby....]

Hatta: I'm tired already.  Tonight must be really slow; there's no good
couples to spy on.

Komatsu: Be patient, my friend.  We soon will find our prey.  The harder
the catch, the greater the return!

(splash, splash) What's that I hear? Over there, by the water.  Let's go!

Hatta: Urgh! Can't we eat something first?

Komatsu: We 're have time for that later.  Now follow me.

<Flashlight shimmers across the  water>

K: Hey! Who's there? Behind the bushes.  Show yourselves now!

Hatta: Hey! That sounds like Kyosuke!

Komatsu: Shhh! Not so loud.  He can hear us.  Look! Over there! There's his
clothes.  Along with a dress!

Hatta: Gee,... I didn't know he was into cross-dressing...

Komatsu: No, you dummy! He's must be with a girl.  And they're naked!

Hatta: Wow! This I gotta see.

Komatsu: Wait up!  Let me get my camera out of my bag!

(FLASH!)

Hatta: Wow! You sure know how to take a fast picture!

Komatsu: That wasn't me! I thought it was your flashlight.

Hatta: <scans water) Looks like noone else now.  But I heard splashing a
moment ago.

Komatsu: I bet you he's holding his breath underwater.  We're wait him out. 
There's no way I'll pass up a chance to catch my old buddy Kyosuke in the
buff and embarrass his ass off!

Hatta: (Goes through clothes and holds up dress) A dress, but no markings
of a bra or panties.  This really sucks!  Say, are you sure he's with a
girl? Or is this his hidden side? 

Komatsu: I don't even want to think about it.  That's too kinky, even for us!


[The next day, a Saturday...]

	I woke up, alive and refreshed.  The day before was a memorable
memory and today was yet another long day ahead for me.  This was to mark
the start of my weekend trip back to Hokkaido to see my parents, and I
wasn't looking forward to it.  I left my parents for NY on bad terms. 
They had opposed the move, citing it was rash and foolish and that I
should be more concerned with attending a good college.  Before, I would
have caved into their wishes, but a special someone's words gave me the
courage to stand up to them and pursue my dreams.  That was the real
reason I was going back; to pay my final respects to him.
	I called Rysuei's room one final time and the lobby, but he was not
back; he had not returned since leaving yesterday morning.  I left him a
message at the desk along with a number where he could reach me.  With my
tickets in hand, I bade farewell to my stuffed trinkets and embarked on
the journey ahead.
	I took the bullet train as my mode of transportation, speeding along
the area at a torrent 300mph.  The pretty scenic view of the countryside just 
flashed by, like my thoughts.  There was so many things to think about:
how was I going to approach my parents, what was I going to say, how was I
going to explain myself, how was I going to act in front of them, etc. The
prospect of meeting my parents was very much like going to court, defending
my decision.  Would they accept the new me or pass down a verdict of silence
for another ten years.
	There was not much joy during my short time in Hokkaido.  It was 
virtually impossible to make friends, being transfer student in the last 
year of high school.  By that time, everyone had already congregated into
their own separate groups, much like my esperience with the ESL classes
back in New York.  The few girlfriends I did make either have moved away
or got married.  Me,... I was still unattached and free, but likely to face
added pressure to wed from my folks.
	Being preoccupied with my thoughts made the trip seem like a
blur; I totally oblivious to everything happening around me; not that
there was much going on in the first place.  Finally, I had arrived, in
Hokkaido, ready for a reconciliation with my parents. 

[Switch back to Ayukawa Mansion, with Kyosuke and Madoka in bed]
M: Kasuga-kun.

K: Yes?

M: Why did we teleport back naked without taking our clothes? Was that 
another surprise ?

K: Oh, I forgot to explain.  While you were trying to sneak up behind me
underwater, I heard the pervert squad, Hatta and Komatsu rummaging about
the bushes.  Naturally, they were on one of their "peeping tom" expeditions.
Before they had a chance to take advantage of us, I used the Power to whisk
us away just in the nick of time.  They heard my voice though, so they knew 
I was there.

M: But that was one of my best dresses I left behind.

K: Don't worry about it,... you look good in anything you wear.  Besides, 
I'll buy you a new, pretty dress.

M: With what? You spent all your money on that trip to Bosnia.

K: Oh yeah,... I guess I'll be needing that job after all.  Guess it would
be good to call that lady to interview for it, to get some cash flow 
coming in.  Now where did I leave that number...

M: Wasn't that business card in your back pocket of your pants?

K: Yeah, and (pause)... Uh Oh.  I left my clothes by the lake.

M: Very Good.  How perceptive of you!

K: Now's not the time to be "smart" here.  

M: I could call Hayakawa and have him ask Shiori for the number again.

K: No! No need to.  I don't want to appear like a muddling idiot to them. I
want to do this my way.

M: But it's really no trouble...

K: No thanks.  I've got to learn to take care of my own mistakes.

M: Sometimes, you don't make sense.

K: But that's part of MY charm, always standing my ground.

M: Well, have it your way then.  But don't say I didn't give you an
alternative.

K: I won't.  By the way, don't you need to call someone yourself.

M: Yes, Ryusei.  Didn't Hikaru mention he was staying at the same hotel?

K: Yep.

M: That's fine then.  We both have our own little errands to attend to.
I'll see you later.

[In a car, with the music "On the Road Again" playing in the background]

#2: (yawn; head tilted to one side on the dashboard) How many more miles
till my shift comes up?

#1: don't worry.  I'm doing the driving now.  It won't be your turn until
we get into town.

#2: (yawn-talking) But we've been driving the whole night.  Who came up
with this stupid idea anyway?

#1: I believe you did.  Something about security issues...

#2: Uhhh! I did, didn't I? Well, I must have been hallucinating or something.
Next time, slap some sense into me.

#1: Like this. (smacks him on the backside of the head)

#1: OWWWwwwwwwww!  What the hell you did that for?

#1: Didn't you say to slap you silly?

#2: Nooooo!  I said to slap some sense into me, but it's only an expression.

#1: Oh! So that's what you said.  Must be the drowsiness getting to me.
Remind me to lay off the decaf.

#2: Ugh! (fuming!)

#1: Luckily for you master didn't hear your shrieks of pain.  Thank god
for sound-proof enclosures!

[Outside a house...]
The cab ride, in comparison with the bullet train, seemed to take an 
enternity.  It had more to do with the anxiety I was feeling.  The closer
I got to my parent's house, the anxious I became.  Eventually, we arrived
at our destination. I took a good look at the house; it looked exactly
the same way I remember it three years before.  Nothing had changed. It 
was as if I took a time warp back into the past.  However, I did hope my
parents' tempers had tempered a bit during my long absence.
	I looked at my watch: 2:43. I stood there on the sidewalk, just
outside the gate, tapping my feet and pondering my next course of action.
Just then, I saw my father coming out the door and towards me.

Papa: Hikaru-chan?  Is that really you?

H: Yes, papa. I'm back, in the flesh.

Papa: My, how much my little darling has changed.  I almost didn't
recognize you.  What happened to my little Hikaru-chan?

H: Oh papa! You shouldn't talk that way.  You know that I'm all grown up
now. 

Papa: Ahh, yes, but too soon in my opinion. The years have pass by too fast.
Ahh, that the burden of being a parent.  One day, you'll know what I'm
talking about.

H: I'm sorry I didn't communicate back to you during my time in NY.  I am
such an unfit daughter.  I was still afraid both of you were still holding
a grudge against me all these years for going against your wishes.

Papa: Nonsense.  Of course I'm glad to see you.  That silly argument we
had is all but forgotten. You're still young, so you need to learn to
make your own mistakes and deal with them.  We were being too
overprotective. (looks over her) I'm very proud of you.  You left a child
and you return as a woman, of marrying age I might add.  I'm just afraid
your mother still is bitter about that fight. 

H: How is mama?

Papa: She is OK; she misses you deeply although she refuses to admit it.I
do see that glimmer in her eyes when your name is mentioned, before she
mentions a fault of yours.  You need to give her some time. She might
just surprise you. 

H: Where is she now?

Papa: She's inside, knitting a sweater. I'll leave you two alone for a
while. I have to go pick up some groceries at the store.  Good luck
Hikaru-chan!

H: bye, bye Papa!. 

I passed my first hurdle, but crossing the second one would prove to be a
challenge onto itself.My mother was a hard woman to get through to. She was
very much old fashioned and rigid in her ways. But she still was my mother.
My mom was a pillar of strength for our whole family to lean on when we
relocated to this area. It was tough on all of us, but especially her.  But
she managed to provide me with words of encouragement when I was having
problems with the other students, being a transfer student. But things soon
soured when I declared to them my decision to go abroad to study as a dancer.
	I didn't leave on good terms with her. She still was harboring
feelings of spite for deserting our family. It was extremely tough news for
her to take:  I was her only child, and she had no one else to turn to when
I left.
	I had to be brave for the both of us, and I had to make the first
move. No matter what the consequences was, I still had to face her.  And she
was still my mother; that much I owed her.And I would be happy to see her,
even if she was too stubborn to admit that she felt the same way.
	I entered the house and removed my high heels. She was in the
living room, sitting in her favorite bamboo chair, diligently working on the
sweater she was knitting. I tiptoed in, but she didn't acknowledge me.  She
kept on knitting, as if I wasn't there.I felt compelled to do something to
break the chain of silence.

H: Hello mama. I've come back to see you and papa.

Mama: (raises her head slowly and looks up) OH,... it's you. So my Hikaru
finally decided to come back. Away from that wasteland overseas.

H: (ignoring comment) I'm happy to see you too. (walks over and sits right
next to her.) So how have things been between you and papa?

Mama: We could be better. Don't think we need your help to keep the house
up. I manage this home fine by myself.

H: I know. I never doubted your ability. I was never a good
housewife-in-training.

Mama: Hai. You so clumsy about my house. So why you come home now? You need
more money from us?

H: No ma. I came back to Tokyo to audition for a musical part in a play.

Mama: Good. Me afraid we need to throw away more good money.

H: Don't you want to know how I did?

Mama: No. I don't care.

H: (getting angry) I've accepted your criticisms of me in the past, but
you've just crossed my line.  I go out of my way to make amends with you and
this is the treatment I get from you. Why do you have to keep holding the
past against me?

Mama: (retorting back) What you want from me?  I had to put up with your
crazy boyfriends breaking your heart. Then, you ran out on our family to
be a silly little dancer when you should have been at home helping me or
going to college. But you didn't listen to me. Instead, you rush off to
US.  You knew how violent they are, carrying guns and shooting each
other. 


H: I'm sorry you feel that way about the states.  But I can't let your own
personal biases interfere with my decision.  But I don't see why you have to
bring up my boyfriends.

Mama: Oh, you were an obedient girl before you became interested in boys. I
felt safer leaving you with Madoka-chan. Why couldn't you be more like her?

H: Don't bring Madoka into this!

Mama: Naze? (why?) When looney boyfriend Kyosuke left, you went crazy! You
neglect household and waste time to send him gifts and letters. He didn't
care, but you call him everyday. You then enter some baka kitten play. 

H:That play was called "Downtown Cats" for your information. Performing and
practicing for that play helped kept my mind off Sempai.

Mama: You drove the other one to his death.

H: What are you saying...

Mama: You know who.  That kind, sweet little boy you hung out with when you
two were children. But you didn't take my advice about him.  You choose to
pine for someone you couldn't have. That's why you're such a tramp now!

H: (crying profusely) WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY DO YOU YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME?
ALWASY BEATING ME UP EMOTIONALLY LIKE THIS.

Mama: You are bad daughter. You show disrespect and dishonor our
family. Why did you not come to his funeral?

H: (still crying) Please, please don't bring that up.

Mama: I must! You run away too long. Have to face the truth now. 

H:Why can't you understand that I couldn't accept the fact that he was dead.
I believed that if I ran away, he would be alive in my heart.  So that's why
I ran; to escape the reality of the situation.

Mama: But you still have guilty conscience, and hang dishonor over our
family.  So you come back for forgiveness. To forgive your sins as an
uncaring daughter, unfaithful friend.

H: NO! It's not like that...

Mama: I can't forgive you; It is not my right.  Only he can.  (scribbles
something on a piece of paper) Here! Take it! (Shoves paper into Hikaru's
hands)

(Mother looks over at the crying Hikaru and starts to feel pity; she draws
her head into her lap)

Mama: Gomen nasia, my Hikaru for my harsh words. You did commit many wrongs,
but you still are my little darling.  I blame myself for not setting you
straight sooner to avoid all these tragedies.  So I take blame; your
dishonor is my dishonor. 

H: (looks up) What is this?

Mama: He is sleeping at that location.  You need to go see him now, to purge
the shame this family has been carrying.  Go, for your own good. 

I was uncerimoniously escorted out, but with good reason.  I did commit
sacrilege by not attending the memorial service. Before, I couldn't face
the pain of the loss. Running away from sorrow has been part of my
history. First from Tokyo, then Japan, and now New York.  The cycle had
to end. I had to come to grips with the past before I can make peace with
own self. 

I arrived at the cemetary, the hallowed, peaceful resting grounds amid the
cloudy overcast sky. Rows and rows of headstones to serve as reminder of
one's own mortality.I walked with trepidation, uncomfortable and uneasy of
the spirits surrounding me.  But a calming influence came over me as I
arrived at the location .

The grave was situated over a shady glade, with an oak tree lying a few feet
behind it. I examined the markings on the headstone.  There he was, lain to
the ground: Hino Yuusaku.

(kneels in front of grave)

Hello Yuu-kun.  How are you? I finally come back just to see you.  This is a
nice place you have here. Especially with an oak tree nearby. You can always
practice your karate on it, like you used to show me.  I'm sorry I didn't
bring any tasty offerings for you to eat.  I promise I'll bring some next
time.  And it won't be in another three years, so don't worry. So how have
you been? What am I saying? You been resting here the whole time. Then I
should tell you what's been happening in my life.

After your passing, I decided to follow your advice to further my dancing
interest: New York. It was your fault for making me do such a thing.  If it
weren't for your encouragement, I would have dropped out of that play.
Thank you for being there for me during the tough times of my breakup. You
were a true friend.  I know you still don't like Sempai, but he's really an
OK guy.  He's almost your size now, but not quite.  But you always will be
my 'tough" guy to lean on. I am just sorry I didn't tell you this before
when you were alive.  But you probably can hear me now, ne? (right)


I'm going to reveal some details of my stay in New York that I have not
revealed to anyone else.  It would be our little secret.  Initially, I did
not make good use of my time there.  I tried to pick up the language , but
that was a doomed proposition. I thought I would have better luck with my
intimate relations in the U.S., but that wasn't the case.  It seems love is
the same, no matter where you are.  And it hurts just as much. I thought I
met this really great guy: his name is Sugizawa. He had your athletic build
and Kasuga's good looks.  Plus he had connections and spoke perfect
English.  I thought I finally found my dream guy, but boy was I wrong! He
was alright for a while; then he became too pushy and possessive, always
wanting to watch my every move. I needed my space, so we had to break up.
I've been with other guys, but nothing really serious, so my heart's been
lonely ever since.

As for my dancing, I've been diligently practicing and working at it, trying
to perfect my craft. To pay for my lessons, I had to take up a waitressing
job at cafes in Greenwich Village. I was beginning to feel concerned about
my situation, with the lack of offers and opportunities for a young Japanese
girl like me. I was beginning to wonder if all the time and effort I was
spending would really be worth it.  My good friend Shuri alerted me of
opening for a musical in Tokyo, so I jumped at the chance. 
	I certainly was not going anyway in the U.S., with my language
problem, so I said 'What the hell!' Go for it! So I used the last of my
money I saved for the plane ticket back to Tokyo.  While in Tokyo, I had an
interesting run-in with Sempai! All the old, warm feelings I felt back then
came back, still, after all these years.  That certainly did not help me out
in my audition, so I didn't get the part. I was becoming cynical by that
time, chalking it up as another one of my failures. I figured I would crawl
back to NY and just hide under a rock. Nothing was ever going my way, ever.

	Having said that, my luck miraculously changed for the better. I
bump into this really nice gentleman.  His name is Ryusei and he is one
suave, no-nonsense guy.  It turns out he's an agent and that he's looking
for someone in his play. Because of him, I now have a role available to
me in this musical. However, I'm not sure if I should really take it or
not. What do you think? 

(Light rain starts to fall)

Is that your answer? Yes? Or is this your way of telling me that I'm
going on and on? I must be boring you with my idle talk. (laughs) Even
when you're gone, I'm still pouring my heart out to you. Just like old
times.  Well I will stop right now and let you have your rest. You
deserved it. Don't worry; I'll promise to visit you more frequently. You
will always occupy a special place in my heart. (takes out red bandana)
We've been friends since we were children and I will always treasure
that.  I still have your red bandana you used to wear at your major
competition meets. It proved to be my lucky charm yesterday. Thank you
for helping me out when I needed it. 

(Closes eyes in moment of reflection and draws
red bandana to her bosom. Rain starts to come in a downpour)

[Tapping on her shoulder]

I turned around to see who it was and I almost fell back in shock! He was
standing right before me!

[End of Chapter A6]